9 Problems Of A Perfectionist

Despite many years of arguing that I’m not a perfectionist, the reality is, I am. I’ve come to realise that this characteristic of mine causes me many problems and it is really quite annoying. You’d think it would mean “wooh, great, you’re a perfectionist that means most things must be perfect for you” but no, that couldn’t be further from the truth.  Here are the problems I encounter from being a perfectionist.

The problems of a perfectionist

1.Getting emotional over the littlest thing – I’ve cried over many ridiculous things: not being able to get the thread through a needle & not being able to remove a bottle lid being two of a verrry long list. It sounds ridiculous, but you know when you have a build up of things and then a task that should be quite simple just isn’t. Cue the tears.

2. Not feeling happy with yourself – This is a lifelong battle. It’s not that you never feel happy within yourself, it’s just that you are always striving for more, always wanting/hoping better so you hardly actually manage to feel happy and content with yourself and that is not a nice feeling.

3. Mind always running overboard – It can be midnight, and I can feel absolutely exhausted but if I remember something that I didn’t do all that well or something I could have done better, there’s no chance of sleep for a while. It’s the worst thing because it can literally be remembering something that happened 10 years ago, but the regret/shame and the stupid feeling is still as strong and is still enough to keep a perfectionist awake.

4. Never feeling like a job is done & that you can relax – It’s the feeling of “OK, that’s one thing done, now on to the 100 other things”. Its the feeling of never being satisfied, never allowing adequate time to relax and unwind. This effects me the most when it comes to being anxious as there have been many times I have really needed to cry out but it’s just not happening for a perfectionist. It’s sad, but with me, nobody can know of something being wrong and if they do know, they can’t know the full extent of it.

5. “I’ll just do it myself” – Overloading yourself with tasks because you don’t trust anybody to do it as well as you can. It’s not about being cocky because as a perfectionist you know that things you do aren’t actually going to end up perfect but you won’t let somebody else do it just because then that’s out of your control. So tiring!

6. Can cause relationship problems – A perfectionist believes and hopes for Prince Charming. There is such thing as Prince Charming but not everybody will meet a Prince Charming. This can then cause problems for perfectionists as without realising or without wanting them to, the standards can be highhhh!

7. Anxiety – This is a horrible result of perfectionism. It’s the underlying fear because you know things probably aren’t going to be perfect despite you wanting them to be and this causing anxious thoughts. This is a very broad subject that could have a blog post of its own so it’s difficult to explain the link but an example is getting your hair cut. I could be booked in to have my hair cut tomorrow and tonight will be full of anxious thoughts. In my head I’m like just get over it, it’s tomorrow, it will be fine but that doesn’t play out!

8. Feeling tired 24/7 – This is the second worst one for me but I am genuinely tired 24/7! Most people I know make comments about the fact I am tired all the time and I completely understand why but I don’t want to be. It is just based on the never allowing time to fully relax, not getting much sleep because your mind is always working overtime. A 6 month holiday is needed twice a year baaaasically.

9. Taking things to heart – I am so bad at this but at the same time, I don’t think this is an issue of mine. That doesn’t make sense but what I mean is, OK,  I do take things to heart but at the same time, when I am taking them to heart, I am actually offended by what people say and don’t realise it’s just the way I am taking it because it genuinely hurts me. Confusing, but get me? It’s because somebody can say something horrible jokingly, but what they say can address issues a perfectionist has within themselves and therefore it reaffirms what they deep down think and it just hurts.


To sum up this post, it’s hard work being a perfectionist! We aren’t like it all the time and we can just be normal human beings but it can be like walking on eggshells around us. Just be gentle and run us a bath with some lavender, we’ll be asleep before you know it!

If you’re a perfectionist, what characteristics do you have that you hate?

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  • Oh god I enjoyed reading this post!
    I was a perfectionist too (okay Right now I still am one) but I try to be happier. I started blogging to get distracted, I didn’t enjoy school anymore and I was always working for school..

    Right now I am so happy! I enjoy the little things in life!

    X Elien

    • I’m glad you feel happy and content within yourself now!! It’s definitely a battle but worth it when you’re happy in the end!! Thanks for leaving your comment xx

  • I think you pretty much got it covered. I would probably use add on and say that I find it hard to let things go and just move on. Sometimes, I will still look at older blog posts, and want to redo them. I hope this is not just me. 😛

    • Oh I so should have included this!! I’m exactly the same, I look back on things from years ago and wish I could change them, it’s so annoying! Thanks for leaving your comment! X

  • I’m definitely a perfectionist. And an overachiever. And sensitive as fk. The best thing that’s helped me is the brain dump habit of writing down Everything you want to be doing, because it takes the pressure off your brain and tells you mentally ‘ok, I’ve got a plan for this, I won’t forget’. There’s only so much ram in your brain and sometimes it feels like it’s all taken up just by the stuff you know you want to do or should be doing, so you can’t really focus as much as you want to on what you’re doing Now 🙂

    • Literally agree with everything you said! I think perfectionism is a horrible trait to have to be honest but I do agree with you and writing things down do help! Although if I forget what I’ve written down, I get stressed out haha

  • This speaks to me so much! The anxiety is the worst part for me. Thankyou so much for writing such an amazing post, it has really reassured me that it is okay. xx

    • Aw no problem, it’s a horrible thing so many of us have to deal with! We’ll learn to deal with it amazingly one day!! Thanks for leaving a comment xx

  • Joanna Malefaki

    Great post! I do like doing things and being organised but I am not a perfectionist! I am a messy planning gal! You see it is so hard to be perfect and life is too short! Joanna

    • Haha I completely agree, I wish I could just tell my brain this and it would switch off!

  • This is definitely me, and I loved the way you explained it, iv never been able to explain to anyone before how I’m feeling when they think I’m being pathetic! This post is going to help so many people!

    Xx

    https://jessicajadebeauty.wordpress.com

    • It’s hard isn’t it because you feel you’re being stupid yourself but it’s just the way you are! Thankyou so much xx

  • Thankyou so much! X

  • Great post. I too struggle with perfectionism. I discovered that essential oils can really help with some of the depo rooted issues and I have become MUCH happier and less hard on myself. I would LOVE to introduce you to some of my favorite essential oils that I love and use daily!! I think you would really enjoy them.

    My Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/GraySkyMatters/
    Blog: https://grayskymatters.wordpress.com

    xo
    Rachelle

    • Thankyou for your comment, I’d love to know what oils you use, are they on your blog? x

      • yes, I post a lot of them on my blog as well as on my Facebook page. I can also send you a private email with a list of suggestions if you’d like! I even have samples!

        • I’ll check out your blog posts on them now, thankyou so much! X

  • I could relate to so many of the above points. It really do sucks sometimes and to top that, I’m a control freak as well.

    • Oh gosh I am too with certain things so I can imagine how you feel!