I left school 4 years ago and that is absolute craziness. I reflect on school quite a lot and here are my thoughts.
I will never feel that intelligent again
I did really quite well at school. Not tooting my own horn or anything but I did leave school with grades I am still happy with to this day. I was the girl in my English class who a lot of people wanted me to photocopy my notes etc to help them out and although I didn’t feel clever at the time and was just too busy worrying about exams, my grades show I wasn’t that stupid back then. I was so pleased with results day but since leaving school, I have realised I will never be as intelligent as I was on results day.
My friendship group will probably never be as big again
In school, I had quite a few friends. I mean, I didn’t go out with all of them outside of school but we had our little group who I would call my friends. During secondary school, I also made a fair few friends from other schools and I would say I had a large group of friends throughout year 7 to year 11. Leaving school has taught me that I will never have that many friends again. It’s true that as you grow older, your friendship group gets smaller and there are so many people who we said to each other We won’t ever stop being friends, stay in contact! And do they? No. Do I? No.
Bitchiness doesn’t end at school
My school year was extremely divided and for that reason extremely bitchy. I’m talking we didn’t have a yearbook or prom because of it. I have realised since leaving school that bitchiness doesn’t leave. I encountered bitchiness at sixth form and I have witnessed bitchiness in my place of work. I’ll be honest we are all guilty of the odd bitchy comment but I just thought that level of bitchiness would have and should have stopped after year 11 but I was wrong!
I am a nice person
This sounds like such a big headed thing to say and I don’t mean it that way at all but I changed so much throughout school. I’ve always been one to stand up for myself and argue my point and throughout school there were some people I wasn’t fully nice too. Even one of my best friends I dumped throughout school (sorry Laura) and looking back, I absolutely hate myself for the way I was sometimes. I do think I began changing in late year 10. It’s like I reached a peak of my maturing and just realised what matters in life and what doesn’t and that was the start of me changing for the better in my opinion. Looking at myself now, I do believe I am a nice, caring person and I just wish I had the ability to have this fully mature head on younger me but I guess it’s all part of growing up.
Decisions don’t need to be made now
This plays highly for me. I am somebody who wants answers now. I want my life plan now and obviously, life just doesn’t go that way. I thought that I would now be in my final year of university but my story just hasn’t gone that way and definitely hasn’t gone to any form of plan. I put some blame for this down to our education system. They expect us to know what we want to do from as early as picking our first options. You do of course get the lucky ones who do know but you get some who don’t and I think it’s why so many people don’t make anything out of themselves because they aren’t sure then and there and then it’s easy to settle. I also put a fair amount of this down to me personally making hasty decisions without much thought beforehand and because of this, I’ve learned decisions don’t need to be made within 0.02 seconds! To be honest, this is something I’m massively fighting with now.
I have so much ambition but I lack motivation!
This point bounces off the previous one. I want to be successful. I want to have the body of my dreams and if you asked me at school, I was going to achieve this. To be honest, if you ask me at 10 o’clock at night I will still strongly believe this but the reality is, I sometimes lack motivation. I don’t think so all the time, but a lot of the time I can be extremely unmotivated. It’s funny because I think I am a really motivating person for others, I just can’t replicate it within myself. Basically, 13 year old Kaiesha expected 21 year old Kaiesha to have a figure to be proud of by now and be a millionaire. Ummm…
I care far too much
If you ask anybody who knows me from school, they will more than likely remember me as the one who didn’t care. I mean I cared about my education but I didn’t care what others thought of me. I will be open and say a lot of that was a front back then but at the same time, a part of me genuinely didn’t care. Leaving school has taught me that it’s OK to care but it has also taught me that I do care far too much to the point that it eats away at me. I would do anything to go back to year 9 attitude don’t care Kaiesha!
Academic grades don’t define you
I think this is something most people learn upon leaving school. Teachers pile on the pressure to get the 5 A*-C’s and yes of course we should all do well in school but is it the be all and end all? No. I mean obviously if you want to be a Doctor then you get those grades! But the point I am making is I have realised that it doesn’t define you as a person. Somebody who achieved all A grades isn’t any better a person than somebody who achieved all C grades.
I’m quite boring!
Something I have learned about myself is that I am quite a boring person. I love my friends, but I would mostly prefer a night of playing a board game, watching films, eating a takeaway etc than a night in town. Don’t get me wrong, I love town but when I was in school I thought after hitting 18, I would be out all the time but I’ve realised that just isn’t me. I did have that phased when I was in university and I do massively enjoy it. But I am just more of a home lover and will choose to be at home than being out getting paralytic more times than not. I’ve also realised I don’t particularly like alcohol! Told you, boring.
School wasn’t the worst time of my life after all
I could not wait to leave school. I was genuinely counting down the days but to be honest, I would do absolutely anything to be back there. School was so care-free to a certain extent and as I said before, it was full of friends, social lives were better and teachers weren’t too bad. Especially the ones I could argue with haha.