DIARY | Anxiety, Crushes & Chocolate

I wrote a post back in March called Let’s get personal and at the time I was eager to start being more honest and personal within my blog posts. My favourite blogs are the ones filled with personal anecdotes or general life catch ups and that’s the content I wanted to start writing. This hasn’t exactly happened and I’ve been pretty bad at blogging in general.

So, I’ve decided to start writing a blog diary and it will be either daily, weekly or fortnightly depending on whether I have anything to say. I’m still struggling with the balance of being as open and honest as I want to be on here and remembering that people I actually know read this.

Still, I’m going to jump in at the deep end and start by talking about my anxiety.

Diary entry | Anxiety

My mental health has been a bit of a struggle recently and unfortunately, it has affected my work. As much as I hate being woken up by an alarm, I do really like the routine that working gives me and like everybody else, I need money so things aren’t great at the moment.

Insomnia’s also back. I’m writing this after having 3 hours sleep last night. I feel emotionally drained, literally tired 24/7 and completely lost but I’ll get there. I’ll also probably write more on the mental health front in separate posts.

On a brighter note, I watched Thor Ragnarok a couple of days ago and I loved it. Thor has always been my least favourite Marvel character – not because of Chris Hemsworth (back to him in a bit) but I’ve never liked the story of Thor as much as the others. Ragnarok, however, is right up there with the best. It’s the funniest Avengers movie yet and it really sets it up well for Infinity War.

Back to Chris Hemsworth and now we’re into the crushes. Everybody knows how attractive he is anyway, but he looks so good in Ragnarok. He has a haircut part way through the film and he is just ridiculously fit (athletic fit, I hate people who use fit meaning attractive). And oh my God his arms. I watched the film with my boyfriend so I haven’t really been able to express this yet so I’m blogging it instead.

Also Anthony Joshua. He’s been everywhere lately, Lynx, Beats, with Bear Grylls and then his fight last Saturday. I think seeing him everywhere has made me realise how attractive he is, how humble and how buff. Obviously, being 18 stone and pure muscle is not an aim of mine but seeing him, Chris Hemsworth and how beautiful Gal Gadot is, it has made me want to stop eating all the chocolate.

FYI, I haven’t stopped eating all the chocolate. 

Talking about chocolate, I am obsessed with Dairy Milk buttons and Terry’s Chocolate Orange at the moment. I’m writing it as though it’s something I’m happy about but no, I’m pretty bloody disgusting at the moment and really need to get back on my healthy eating/gym vibe and stop with all the eating.

I’m also fangirling over Rak-Su on The X Factor. This is the first year in a while that I’ve fully watched the show and honestly they’re amazing. They don’t even need the show, they could quit right now and be successful because their original songs are so good and would definitely be on my Spotify playlist. If you aren’t a fan of the show, Youtube Rak-Su, trust me you’ll love them.

Last but not least, my Candy Crush obsession is back. It was an addiction of mine a couple years ago and it’s back with a vengeance. I’m on level 578 and half of me says I need a life but the other half is feeling very proud.

I think that’s everything for now. I’m really into blogging at the moment so I shouldn’t be disappearing again anytime soon.