22 & I Don’t Know What To Do – Anybody Else?

Clearly, from that title, poetry holds my destiny. But no seriously, I’m 22 years old and I have very little idea what I want to do with my life. I’d compare myself to a lost little puppy, with no idea what step to take next.

There will be a fair few of you screaming “you’re still young, stop worrying” and while I see where you’re coming from, sorry but I disagree. I don’t want to wait, I want to know right now. My impatience stems from the fact that the one thing I know for sure that I want in life, is a home of my own and a family (I genuinely cannot wait). But I can’t or won’t do either of those without having my career sorted so in other words, at this rate, it won’t be anytime soon. Sorry, Mum ~ she’s desperate to be a Grandparent.

22 & I Don't Know What To Do

I’d describe myself as quite a proud person, I like working, and I want nothing more than to be successful in a career path that I am truly happy in. I did well at school, not meaning to toot my own horn, but I left with results I was proud of and happy with. While this was great, it did nothing but make me feel immense pressure to succeed and because of that, I’ve made some silly mistakes in terms of education, and never really stopped to think about what I really want or what was the wisest choice. I have made some bad decisions with things I have done, and wasted a lot of money in the process, but I will cut myself a little bit of slack and say I don’t know how much stopping for a breather would’ve helped because 5 years since leaving school (crazy), I’m still none the wiser.

I’m certain I’ve thought about every single career path since I was a little girl. I’ve wanted to be a teacher, a dancer, a nurse, a journalist, a photographer, a writer, a midwife, a HR worker, work in marketing, a makeup artist, a baker… literally everything. I’ve explored, and I am still exploring so many options and I’ve tried three of them in an education capacity – photography, midwifery, and law – and they haven’t been for me. So, I have student debt, and absolutely nothing to show for it apart from failure.

I will say that knowing what isn’t right for me is one positive of mine. I know what I don’t want to do or what I’m not happy in fairly quickly. And although it might take me a little while to admit that they aren’t right – my stubbornness – I can cross those off my list ASAP. For example, I now know I am not destined to be a midwife, nor a lawyer due to my failed stints at higher education. I also now know that a job in adult healthcare is not for me, I do not want to work in a nursery and I most definitely hope and pray I never have to work in retail ever again. But I can see myself doing so many other things. If I’m surrounded by something, I picture myself doing it. So, if I go for a Dr’s appointment, I think about being a doctor. If I have my eyebrows waxed, I consider being a beautician and if I go to my sibling’s school performance, I think about being a teacher. But I can’t keep going to college, university, or keep changing jobs to explore all these options. I don’t have forever.

22 & I Don't Know What To Do

I found the above quote on Pinterest a little while ago “Many things interested her, and nothing satisfied her entirely” and let me tell you, that is me summed up in one pretty little typography photo.

Quite simply, I lack passion. As I’ve said, I have so many interests but it’s rare that something excites me. The only two things I have found a passion for are baking, and blogging. I do both, and absolutely love them, but not to the extent of making money for me to progress in life, and so, for now, they’re my hobbies. Oh, and I do believe that when I eventually sort my life out enough to have children, that will be my life made.

I just feel so determined not to be like so many people in this world, settling for a job they’re semi-happy in, or quite often, not happy at all in. We spend far too much time working anyway, and I just don’t want to spend that much of my life, not happy in my place of work. I know so many people do this, and unfortunately, it might be the necessary thing for me to do to be able to move out of my family home, and ‘adult’. I just know I have a problem conforming to the rules of life, I often compare myself to Holden Caulfield. Basically, I’m seeking out happiness in everything I do because otherwise, what’s the point really?

I just hope and pray that within the next 5 years, things sort themselves out. I’d love for it to be much, much sooner because I am very impatient but 27 seems like a nice age to have my shit together.

Are any of you in the same boat? Not necessarily 22 years of age, but do any of you feel like you should have things sorted but are so, so far away from it? Please let me know so I feel less alone!

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  • I totally get it. I have dabbled with the idea of being lots of things including midwife and military but I chose to be an actress instead. Which kind of means I get to be anything o want to be! X

    • kaiesha stewart

      Ah that’s probably the perfect role for somebody who feels the same way as me. I’d love to be an actress, I just can’t act haha. X

  • Han

    I’m sure within the next few years you’ll find your way and there are so many people that feel the same, its so hard to know what to do with the rest of your life! x

    Han | lifewithhan.blog

    • kaiesha stewart

      It is so difficult, I hope I get there. X

  • Is it really bad I’m so thankful I’m not the only one I’m 21 and I have little idea what I want to do because I want to do everything.

    • kaiesha stewart

      No, I’m glad you commented because I like to know I’m not the only one either!! And that’s it, I want to do absolutely everything too x

  • I can completely relate to this. I’m a person who’s 23 turning 24, and while I have an idea of what I want to do with my life, waiting for it to work out it taking more patience that I’m entirely capable of. I already know that It’s gonna happen and work out, but I wish it would all just happen sooner, you know? Great post Kaiesha xxx

    melina | http://www.ivefoundwaldo.com

    • kaiesha stewart

      This is me summed up apart from the fact that I don’t have an idea at all really. It is so frustrating but we will get there one day! Thankyou x

  • I was EXACTLY the same a few months ago. I never knew what I wanted to do when I left school despite getting some good results. I chose to study fashion journalism even though I didn’t really know whether it was what I truly wanted to do. 2 years later I dropped out – £18,000 down I was non the wiser on what I wanted to do. I started an apprenticeship in marketing – now this didn’t end up being the way for me BUT it was the start of the rest of my life (I hope). I realised I bloody loved marketing and decided to go on and study it at uni (lol second attempt). I am in my first year now and I’m loving it – I’m getting great results because it’s something I actually love! And, my love of blogging has gotten reaal strong again which I’m so pleased about. I went from nearly being homeless from dropping out, having no money, the stresses of having to try and pay it back with no income, rent to pay for the rest of the year etc. etc. feeling like my life was over to finally feeling like I have a purpose! It was awful for me not knowing what and where I was going but finally I feel like I have some direction. Sorry about the masssssiive para haha. 27 is the age I really want to have my shit together too and totally relate to not feeling comfortable being in a job I don’t love.

    Beckie // The Pale Tails

    • kaiesha stewart

      Oh my gosh, we sound pretty similar ha. You’ve got me thinking about marketing again now & this is what I do all the time: just chop and change ideas of things to do and waste money on education throughout ha. I’m glad you’ve found something you love though! And we both have the age of 27 to look forward to xx

  • Sophie Wentworth

    I relate to this so so so much! I’m 23, I’m pretty smart (not boasting, but I’m smart enough to know I have options) and I did a degree I hated then left and lacked purpose completely. I think it’s only in the past 6 months or so I’ve kinda figured out what I want. No further forward other than a potential plan but I was the same. So stressed that it would never come and wanting it right now. I know you don’t want to hear ‘you’ve got time’ but I was only slightly older than you when I had my light-bulb moment, you’ve got this x

    Sophie
    http://www.glowsteady.co.uk

    • Kaiesha Stewart

      That has definitely given me some hope! I do believe I will have my own light bulb moment, I’m just worried it will be in 15 years time haha. I hope everything works out for you! x

  • After uni I tried out lots of different jobs to see what I truly enjoyed, and it was only when I was 23 that I found a career I really likes. My mum is desperate to become a Grandmother too, so I feel your pain on that. I hope things get easier soon!

    Steph – http://www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

    • Kaiesha Stewart

      Thankyou, hopefully 23 will be the year for me ~ roll on September haha x